


Coffee

by StainedGlassDreams



Series: Home Actually Home [2]
Category: Winter Soldier (Comics)
Genre: Comfort, Dreams, F/M, h/c
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-28
Updated: 2017-02-28
Packaged: 2018-09-27 11:19:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 510
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10017602
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StainedGlassDreams/pseuds/StainedGlassDreams
Summary: Reality slips as Bucky tries to stop the shifts. He will never have enough words for his anchor, even when she isn't here.





	

His hands tremble as he grasps the sink, trying to steady himself.

After everything, he can stand most dreams. Can stomach it, remember and add it to the list of things he knows will never be able to make up for.

Tries to steady his breathing, which is still as shaky as the rest of his body, the coldness of the bathroom, more prominent as he's still soaked in sweat.

Missions, training, the war; Brooklyn, Austria, Faustus, all of it.  
The only thing that still gets him, gets him here where he's dangling precariously between the here and now, and whatever void he can possibly stumble into, are the ones where he has no control.  
Where he isn't so much remembering as he is reliving. That feeling that is the only thing he'd rather forget, have wiped from his memory forever (grips the sink tighter as he says the word alone). The one where he's helpless, like sleep paralysis in the third person, where all he can do is try and wait out the dream or wake himself up.

Curses softly as he tries to calm himself down.

Where he feels his body moving as his head is screaming no, feelings subdued and buried under memory wipes, programming and commands.  
The ones that remind him he couldn't break free.

Natalia isn't here tonight, still on a 2 day recon mission with Silk.  
A part of him is glad, he hates accidentally waking her up whenever he has these, even though she never does mind.  
The other part selfishly wishes she was here, though he tosses that thought as quickly as it comes.

Liho has been quiet, watching him from atop the tub.  
As he closes his eyes, willing his heart rate down, she meows quietly, feeling her rub up against his leg.  
James opens his eyes slowly, looking over to her. "[Told you to look after me, did she?]" He says softly.  
She purrs as if almost in response, looking up at him. He leans down carefully, petting her head. Liho bends her back in comfort under the response, before licking his finger and trotting away.  
The bathroom seemed to settle as he interacted with her, the sweat reduced to whatever was left on his body and his heart stopped pounding against his chest.

James walks over to the kitchen, seeing a pot of tea still smoking to the side. Liho is on the table, sitting obediently as her tail moves like a clock pendulum.  
"Surely you didn't make that." He says, looking at the kettle before seeing a note alongside it: "James, hope you don't have to use this. Made it in case you do. Get some rest. -N."  
He runs his finger along the paper as he smiles, looking to the tea. "I love your Mom. You know that." He said, watching her.  
Liho mewed, trotting off back to the bedroom..  
He leaned on the dining table, tea warming his hands & further standing reality.

He had the greatest girl in the world.  
It's all the reality he needed.

**Author's Note:**

> This may be part of a series, unsure as of yet....
> 
> As always, Thank You go reading :)
> 
> P.S. Update to my other series soon


End file.
